Wednesday, September 24, 2008

How much is a billion dollars?



I guess we were too busy working two full time minimum wage jobs in order to pay rent on our one bedroom apartments to notice how this was adding up!

Meanwhile, hope you received your copy of this:

Dear American:
I need to ask you to support an urgent secret business relationship with a transfer of funds of great magnitude.

I am Ministry of the Treasury of the Republic of America. My country has had crisis that has caused the need for large transfer of funds of 800 billion dollars US. If you would assist me in this transfer, it would be most profitable to you.
I am working with Mr. Phil Gram, lobbyist for UBS, who will be my replacement as Ministry of the Treasury in January. As a Senator, you may know him as the leader of the American banking deregulation movement in the 1990s. This transactin is 100% safe.
This is a matter of great urgency. We need a blank check. We need the funds as quickly as possible. We cannot directly transfer these funds in the names of our close friends because we are constantly under surveillance. My family lawyer advised me that I should look for a reliable and trustworthy person who will act as a next of kin so the funds can be transferred.

Please reply with all of your bank account, IRA and college fund account numbers and those of your children and grandchildren to wallstreetbailout@treasury.gov so that we may transfer your commission for this transaction. After I receive that information, I will respond
with detailed information about safeguards that will be used to protect the funds.
Yours Faithfully,
Minister of Trea
sury Paulson

Henry Merritt “Hank” Paulson Jr. is the United States Treasury Secretary and member of the International Monetary Fund Board of Governors. He previously served as the Chairman and Chief Executive Officer of Goldman Sachs.
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Finally: Web protestors seek posters who want to sell their bad investments for cold, hard cash at buymyshitpile.com. Here's one good item to divest of.

11 comments:

Randal Graves said...

Dear, Mr. Paulsson,

I would lov to send blank checks but all my Nigerian next kins already received them already. I am sorry.

Randal Graves, Murkan Patriot.

eProf2 said...

BE, I sent you a message over on Dada's comment board.

Border Explorer said...

Randal and eProf, you made my day. Your "thank you" apple pies are in the mail.

okjimm said...

Break me up. In fact it was SO funny, that it wasn't funny....but that kinda made it funny again, but only for a little while. And then McCain said he wants to cancel the scheduled debate so he can hurry to DC and 'help' solve the crisis, which is funny cause the shithead admits he doesn't know much about economics, which is funny. Makes me wanna cry.

Ruth Hull Chatlien said...

Whoever wrote that was brilliant.

Fran said...

What a great post-- I loved the letter & the vid.

I caught this gem this afternoon--

Sen. Pete Domenici R-New Mexico just said

“Paulson has a PhD in Economics.
His Dissertation topic: The Great Depression” !!!

How’s that for irony???

Do we find comfort he studied the great depression, and is asking for total immunity???

I think not.

Meanwhile, speaking of bailouts, Johnny McCain wants to bail out of the friday debate.

The No Talk Express does not like answering questions. No way, no how!!!

Missy said...

Good Lord, thank you for opening my eyes. Our government is engaged in a 419.

Sure. It all makes sense.

D.K. Raed said...

I didn't get my letter. Waaaahhh! And here I had not only some real toxic securities but also beaucoup illiquid cash to loan. Oh well, guess I can burn it for fuel this winter.

seev said...

Dear Mr. Minister,
Like Murkan Patriot I sent most of my holdings off to some needy people in Nigeria. But I do have a hotel I could give you. Trouble is it's occupied by porcupines and is a bit difficult to reach. But once you get to the big pile of rocks below the cliff, there it is in all it's smelly pristine porcupine glory! Sorry for the brown stains everywhere but that's porcupines for ya, and besides you did want a shit pile, didn't you? Take it away! It's all yours!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Border Explorer said...

Missy, who'da thought they were bright enough to pull off a scam of such magnitude? (Not me!)

Sounds good, D.K. And the people with letters and no cash can burn their letters. (That'd be most of us.)

Seev, ROFLMAO. A sticky and stinky hotel--just where I'd like to see them (especially if it has bars on the windows/doors!).

Border Explorer said...

okjimm--funny: makes me thirsty for a beer.

Ruth, wish I could take the credit. I found it on some internet news site.

Fran, now I'm suffering a Great Depression!